Ashes asked:


I’m in a broken family of four. My brother lives with my mom in a town that’s 30 minutes away from where my dad and I live. They’re divorced, and my dad had been re-married for four years to a woman that would love nothing more than for me to be erased from my father’s memory (and will). My dad is by no means wealthy, but he’s very well off. He owns his own construction business and has created his business from the ground up. He’s the type of person that you will never be able to please, because obviously, nothing is ever, ever good enough. I’m 21, have a full-time job working for the state of Oregon, am a full-time student at a four year university with a cumulative 3.8 GPA, and I pay for my car payment, but my dad does help me with my insurance, gas and cell phone bill. I do appreciate him dearly and tell him this all the time, but he doesn’t so much as sniff at my gratitude for his help during these rough times. While my step-mother spends most of her time shopping for her children, shopping for herself and buying pretty much anything her little heart desires. I don’t envy her for this, but I don’t appreciate her spending habits, just as much as I don’t appreciate my dad giving her any and all credit cards she so pleases. I have tried to talk to my dad about this but he always says I’m dramatic and that I need to grow up. I have been saving every dime to buy a house (I’ve bought my own car so far), and have almost 3,000 saved. I thought I was doing very well, and I like to here praise for how hard I work, but I never have and probably never will receive the attention that I so greatly desire. It has turned me into a monster. I have anger problems, have relationship problems, and I don’t want to seek out male attention because I can’t get any positive reinforcement from my dad. I cry all the time and I can’t afford to move into a home and I don’t want to waste all of my money getting into an apartment. I feel lost. With my mother and brother, the problems are even worse. My mother puts my brother on this pedestal to where it is impossible for him to do wrong and he hates it when I come around. Every time I call him he tells me to “f*** off” and other colorful terms. When I tell my mother about this she acts as if she is powerless and there is nothing she can or will do. The reason why I moved away from her house (the house my dad built) is because I wanted to spend more time with my father. Now I have been living with him for the last ten years and every single time he gets into a relationship (his most recent is his fourth marriage, my mom was his third, his other relationships were just girlfriend status), he tries to push his “old” family away and bring in the “new” one. He moves women in with him like it’s going out of style. His wife now, my step-mom, only knew my dad for a solid month and they married. Unbelievably, they’re still together. But I know it’s because my dad’s lonely and wants a companion, and my step-mom is greedy and wants to be taken care of (She was married to an ex felon, has three kids from two different dads, 5′3”, 100 lbs, pretty, and doesn’t mind the trophy position, while my dad is 5′8”, 350 lbs, and wanted someone who will cook, clean, have sex, no questions asked). I hate this about him, he treats women as if they are no more than tools like his construction work. My mom has stolen 3/4 of my college fund, bought a new car (06 Pontiac GTO) and my brother has spent all of his on booze, pain killers, and strippers. God, it doesn’t end… I am 8 classes away from graduating but I can’t graduate because of my work hours and the classes that I need are not offered during the evening hours, no work - can’t pay bills or move out. So you see my multiple dilemmas upon problems. My mom backed up into my car too, and won’t pay for the damage, so now I am stuck with a 1,600 dollar bill that I can pay… with my savings for my house. I have a family that just doesn’t want me, and my dad thinks that paying for things equals love when it truly doesn’t. I try to ignore the way my step-mom treats me but I am strong-minded and truly understand when I am being purposefully left out of family functions as well as being alienated from my father. The worse part is that my father treats this issue that I have as nothing more than immaturity, a phase, and jealousy. But it is obvious and apparent, with verbal and non-verbal cues, that my dad not only treats his wife, but everyone in her family, that he loves them and they are more important to him, than I am to him. My brother used to live with us. But when my dad married this woman, she convinced him to kick my brother out of the house, which was good and bad for many reasons. My brother forced my dad to sign over the title to the truck that my brother regularly drove (1997 F250 powerstroke diesel), I have one exactly like my brother’s except for mine is two years older and I never asked dad to do that. So my dad did and told my brother to get th