J-GOD asked:


Three guys show up at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter walks up to them and says, “Okay, guys, you know the drill. I can only let one of you into heaven, and i’ve decided it’s gonna be the guy with the best story of how he died.” St. Peter goes up to the first guy and says, how’d you die?

The first guy goes,”well, it’s like this. I work a construction job, 12 to 14 hours a day. I come home from work one day to find a pair of pants and shirt draped over the kitchen table chair that don’t belong to me. I’m lookin’ around for the guy, you know, under the bed, in the closet, behind the drapes. Finally I make my way out to the balcony, and there’s some numb-nuts hangin’ there in his boxer shorts. I snap. I see red. I go and get a hammer from my tool kit, then i go and start hammering his fingers until he falls. Wouldn’t you know it, he hits the awning at the bottom and survives. That wasn’t enough for me. I go and get my fridge and push it over the balcony. It squashes him flat. Then i started feelin’ bad about what I did, and shot myself in the head.”

St. Peter thinks about this and says,”Okay, that was pretty good.” He goes to the next guy and says, what’s your story?

The second guy says,”Well, it’s like this. I live in the penthouse suite of a downtown apartment building. I’m out on my terrace one day, workin’ out, doin’ some jumpin’ jacks, when all of a sudden I fall over the edge of the building. Luckily i catch myself on someone’s balcony. So, i’m hangin’ there, hopin’ someone’ll see me and call the fire department, when all of a sudden, this guy comes out with a pissed off look on his face and starts hammering my fingers. Naturally, I fall, but i hit the awning at the bottom and survive. So i’m sittin’ there, dazed, wonderin’ what the hell just happened, and when I look up the last thing I see is a refridgerator bearing down on me.”

St. Peter thinks long about this, and finally says to the third guy,”Man, it’s not looking good. But i’m a fair guy, so how did you die?”

The third guy says,”Pete, the fridge was the wrong place to hide.”