My anger gets the best of me a lot.what can I do to keep my cool?
j J asked:
Most of my life I’ve had anger issues. I’m 19 years old, and lately, it seems to be at an all time worst. Almost everything ticks me off. I was setting up a printer for my brother’s computer today, and it didn’t work. He came down and asked me why I broke it, and it set me off. I threw the printer across the room, shoved him, and told him that I did nothing and if he didn’t shut up, I’d beat him down.
Most of my life I’ve had anger issues. I’m 19 years old, and lately, it seems to be at an all time worst. Almost everything ticks me off. I was setting up a printer for my brother’s computer today, and it didn’t work. He came down and asked me why I broke it, and it set me off. I threw the printer across the room, shoved him, and told him that I did nothing and if he didn’t shut up, I’d beat him down.
If that wasn’t bad enough, I was working with my dad yesterday on a construction site and I forgot a tool. He called me an idiot/stupid for it, and I grabbed what i had and threw it across the parking lot. I stormed off.
My behavior really is uncalled for, and I don’t know why I do it. Looking back now, I feel like a moron. When I get into the rage, I can’t even control it. I’m worried I might seriously hurt somebody in the future…
I don’t know what to do.
Well i have the same problem
I have been going to an Anger management Classes for about 5 years…
It workzz!!!
have a stress ball. if u cant find them then heres how u can make them: get a balloon ad nfill it with flour or dandelions and tie it and just squeeze away!
I totally understand. I am glad that you realize that there is something off at 19. It took me until 34 to do something about what I call my “Sybill” times.
Seek some professional counseling. This is something real and you can come through it. I can tell you for sure that being on the other side of the anxiety and mean-ness is wonderful. for me I have been on some low dose medication; maybe that could help your or you could just need some one on one counseling.
Good luck and no matter what; remember that there IS light at the end of the tunnel and you can find a way to get away from the angry behavior that makes you even more angry.
what you have is not a problem. its an issue. i have it too. what i do is I hit myself, like jim carrey does in the liar liar movie. that cools me off.
sounds dumb!!! but it has its advantages, when in a fight youll be able to take harder punches before falling down. and.. you wont wreck things you throw at the wall.
I had this thing for throwing cell phones against walls.
smoke some nugs
There’s a big clue in your question that could give an indication where your anger could be coming from.. the part where you said you were working with your dad and forgot a tool and he called you “stupid”. Has that always been a pattern? When we grow up with criticism it can set us up for anger because we feel we can never get it right and always feel like a failure. This is a big issue. And you have a right to feel angry if this is the case. The trick here is to find a constructive way to vent your anger. You have already taken your first constructive step… by recognizing you have a problem. There is not a simple solution but anger management classes could help. I read a very good book once called ” the dance of anger”. Might want to check that out.. there are probably lots of other ones out there too. IN the mean time a constructive way to deal with your anger would be like this. .. the next time your dad calls you stupid… very assertively tell him you do not appreciate being called names and that you will NO LONGER tolerate it. Be prepared for a shocked reaction. Hold your ground… you deserve respect as a human being and its up to you to let people know you want to be treated with respect. Remember…”we teach people how to treat us”. this might be new to you so remember… practice makes perfect. Respect yourself and love yourself and so will others. Best wishes to you…let me know how it goes!!!
Go and apologize to your brother, your father, and forgive yourself.
Trying not to think a negative thought will result in thinking it more.
Thinking is like breathing: It goes on night and day and you can’t stop it. But you can change it. You can breathe slowly and deeply or shallowly and quickly. You can breathe any way you want. But you can’t stop.
The same is true about thinking. You can say something stupid or depressing to yourself; you can say something intelligent or inspiring to yourself; but you can’t stop thinking entirely.
So when you find yourself disliking the content of your thoughts, instead of trying to stop yourself from thinking a thought, try to direct your thoughts.
And the way to direct your thinking is by asking yourself a question. A question gets your mind going in a new direction without suppressing what you’re already thinking. Ask yourself a question.
Of course, the kind of question you ask makes a big difference. If you ask “Why is this happening to poor me?” your answers won’t help you any.
The idea is to direct your mind by asking questions that put your attention on practical things, on accomplishment, on the future. If you find yourself worrying, for example, ask yourself something like this: “How can I make myself stronger and better able to deal with this?” Or “Can I get busy right now working on my goal — so busy I forget all about my worries? And if not, is there some planning I can do now that will save me time later?” Or even simply “What is my goal?”
When you find yourself thinking negatively about something “bad” that happened, ask yourself “What’s good about this?” Or “How can I turn this to my advantage?” Or “What assumption have I made that I can argue with?” Ask a good question.
When you decide on a question to ask yourself, ask the question and keep asking. Ponder it. Wonder about it. Let it run through your mind whenever your mind isn’t otherwise engaged. It will turn the tide of your thoughts and bring you into a new state of mind because you’re thinking positively positively.
Get counseling and try to take a deep breath and count to 10. And definitely talk to someone. There is a thing called “blind rage”. Are you aware when you’re doing it?