is this not the greatest joke ever?
Three guys show up at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter walks up to them and says, “Okay, guys, you know the drill. I can only let one of you into heaven, and i’ve decided it’s gonna be the guy with the best story of how he died.” St. Peter goes up to the first guy and says, how’d you die?
The first guy goes,”well, it’s like this. I work a construction job, 12 to 14 hours a day. I come home from work one day to find a pair of pants and shirt draped over the kitchen table chair that don’t belong to me. I’m lookin’ around for the guy, you know, under the bed, in the closet, behind the drapes. Finally I make my way out to the balcony, and there’s some numb-nuts hangin’ there in his boxer shorts. I snap. I see red. I go and get a hammer from my tool kit, then i go and start hammering his fingers until he falls. Wouldn’t you know it, he hits the awning at the bottom and survives. That wasn’t enough for me. I go and get my fridge and push it over the balcony. It squashes him flat. Then i started feelin’ bad about what I did, and shot myself in the head.”
St. Peter thinks about this and says,”Okay, that was pretty good.” He goes to the next guy and says, what’s your story?
The second guy says,”Well, it’s like this. I live in the penthouse suite of a downtown apartment building. I’m out on my terrace one day, workin’ out, doin’ some jumpin’ jacks, when all of a sudden I fall over the edge of the building. Luckily i catch myself on someone’s balcony. So, i’m hangin’ there, hopin’ someone’ll see me and call the fire department, when all of a sudden, this guy comes out with a pissed off look on his face and starts hammering my fingers. Naturally, I fall, but i hit the awning at the bottom and survive. So i’m sittin’ there, dazed, wonderin’ what the hell just happened, and when I look up the last thing I see is a refridgerator bearing down on me.”
St. Peter thinks long about this, and finally says to the third guy,”Man, it’s not looking good. But i’m a fair guy, so how did you die?”
The third guy says,”Pete, the fridge was the wrong place to hide.”
Joke: The Electrician?
An electrican is interviewing for a construction job. “Can you roll your hard hat down your arm and make it pop back on your head? the supervisor asks. “Sure”, he replies, confused. “Can you bounce your screwdriver off the concrete, spin in a sircle and catch it in your tool pouch?” “Yes, sir,” he answers exictedly. “And can you quickdraw your wire stripper twirl it and slip it into your pouch like its a holster?” “Oh I’ve been doing that for years!!”, the electrician said. “In that case, I can’t use you,” the boss says. “I’ve got 15 guys doing that now.”
Dynamite and the tree Riddle?
Dynamite is a tool that can be used to cut down trees. To cut a tree 18 inches in diameter requires five sticks of dynamite: one on the north, south, east and west sides of the tree, and the fifth stick on the side to which the tree should fall. During construction of a dam, a tree 18 inches in diameter was completely covered by water. Since the treetop was fouling the boat’s propellers, it had to be cut down. A diver went down and put a stick of dynamite on the four sides of the tree. Since the current is flowing south at 2 knots per hour, on which side of the tree would you instruct the diver to put the fifth stick of dynamite if you wanted the tree to fall north?
Jon you are close….. but not exactly right
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Related Blogs
- Related Blogs on Five Sticks
- Mock, Paper, Scissors » Blog Archive » “It takes a bigger stick …
- top five tampa bay world records
- Related Blogs on Tree Riddle
- DTR Season 6, Episode 8: “Meta” [Podcast]
- DTR Season 5, Episode 8: Friend My Life [Podcast]
- Rose Hips on the Tree of Life |-| Hella Delicious
- Related Blogs on Trees
- The Beat » North meets South
Blonde Jokes?
Star if your laughed!
Star if you laughed!
What is your zodiac sign? Does any of this describe you?
rach2305: i just c + v from another website
There were three people in an airplane?
A construction worker, librarian and an Army guy. The plane started to fall and the pilot said the plane was too heavy. So, th construction worker threw some of his tools out of the plane, the librarian threw out some books, and the Army guy threw bombs.
The plane landed safely and the three people went home. On his way home the construction worker saw a boy crying and asked what was wrong. The boy said ” I was walking and a bunch of hammers hit me on the head.”
The librarian saw a little girl crying and the girl said ” I was just sitting here and books came out of nowhere and hit my on the head”
The Army guy saw a little boy laughing. He asked why he was laughing and the boy said ” my Grandma farted and it blew up the house!”.
There was a man on top of one building. He wants to jump to a building with the same height adjacent to it?How
There was a man on top of one building. He wants to jump to a building with the same height adjacent to it?How
The building adjacent to it is far apart for him to jump across, that building is under construction. So it will only get higher.
He has no other tools. He can only jump across. But he can make a safe jump landing how?
This is a really hard riddle my friend asked me.
No the building the man is on is not under construction. The building adjacent to it is.
The man is of average physique and not a superhero. He is normal. And he can not use other tools like helicopters.
No the man is stuck on the top. This is why the riddle is very difficult because it seems all logical possibilities are eliminated.







